Why you might be sabotaging your birth

Birth is a profoundly personal experience, yet it's often clouded by external expectations and pressures. Many people find themselves agreeing to things they don't want, driven by a lack of confidence or a desire to please others. This can lead to a birth experience that feels disempowering and far from what they truly desired.

The People-Pleasing Trap

The desire to make others happy can be strong, especially when it comes to family and medical professionals. But when this desire overrides your own needs and wishes, it can lead to a birth plan that's more about others' comfort than your own.

The Confidence Conundrum

Confidence in birth is crucial. Without it, you may find yourself deferring to others' opinions and decisions, even when they conflict with your own desires. This lack of confidence can stem from societal messages that undermine women's trust in their own bodies and instincts.

Recognising Self-Sabotage

Self-sabotage can be subtle. It might look like not speaking up during antenatal appointments, hesitating to ask questions, or not expressing your preferences for your birth plan. It's important to recognise these patterns and understand their impact on your birth experience.

Steps to Reclaim Your Birth

1. Educate Yourself: Knowledge is power. Learn about the birth process, different interventions, and pain management options. This will help you make informed decisions.

2. Build a Supportive Team: Surround yourself with people who respect your wishes and advocate for you. This includes choosing a healthcare provider who aligns with your birth philosophy.

3. Practice Assertiveness: Role-play different scenarios where you express your needs and wishes. This can help build the confidence to advocate for yourself during labor and delivery.

4. Create a Birth Plan: Write down your preferences and discuss them with your support team. A birth plan can serve as a reminder of your priorities and a tool for communication.

5. Reflect on Past Experiences: If you've had a previous birth experience that was less than ideal, reflect on what you would like to change. Use this insight to guide your current choices.